Today Holds Heaviness

Today Holds Heaviness

  This day comes every year, and every year I dread it. I cannot change it. I cannot erase it. I cannot accept it. It will always be with me, with us.   Today is not an anniversary. It is not a day of laughter. It is not a day of happy memories. It is a day...
Not So Sweet 16

Not So Sweet 16

Happy birthday baby boy. You should be 16 years old this year. I don’t even know what to say. Leading up to your birthday I felt broken. How can I not? The forever contemplation of what you would look like, how tall you would be, if you would be driving, who you...
The Month That Starts It All

The Month That Starts It All

  Many parents go through PTSD after their child has been diagnosed with cancer, and definitely after their child has died. I have written about that in previous blogs. Many don’t fathom the extent of that trauma for parents. Speaking to people, some have...
Another Year

Another Year

  Another year Another year that will not know Madox and his energy Another year we will not create new memories with or of Madox Another year we will wonder who Madox would have been Another year of worry, that memories of the past will be forgotten Another year...
Guilt For The Win

Guilt For The Win

  Holidays are tough. Coupled with a birthday, and the day can come screeching to a halt. Glaring reminders of who is missing in our lives, and everything that was lost, leading up to those days. Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, then Christmas. Will it ever...