This day comes every year, and every year I dread it. I cannot change it. I cannot erase it. I cannot accept it. It will always be with me, with us.

 

Today is not an anniversary. It is not a day of laughter. It is not a day of happy memories. It is a day that hurts and haunts us, and it bleeds into our lives.

 

7 years ago today Madox laid on his hospital bed in our living room, with little response to our questions or cues. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing heavily. We lay with him; we read his favourite books; we sang his favourite songs. Then quietly, he exhaled his last breath.

 

My heart will never heal, as it will miss you until my dying day. Although we are broken, we continue to live life in your honour. You fought so hard to live and we appreciate every moment we had with you. We thought we had more time. We thought we had a lifetime with you. We love you our sweet boy. You are missed immensely.

 

** this photo was after I helped ease Madox’s pain with a neck massage and we fell asleep on the floor together